Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Confessions of a Scrapbook Drop-out

I’m finished!  I’m done with my children’s scrapbook.

One of my scrap-loving friends might ask, “Done with the preschool scrapbook?  The family vacation book? The birthday party pages?”

No, I’m done with the whole darn thing – the book is complete until I add their wedding pictures in a couple of decades.

When I was first pregnant, I bought a lovely scrapbook, special colored paper, and fancy tape, planning to document every element of my little darling’s life.  Two years later, I only had seven poorly laid out pages.

Page 1: Birth announcement.

Page 2: Photos of the nursery attached to baby-themed card stock.

Page 3: Photos of the baby shower.  No captions, but at least I used nice pastel paper.

Page 4: Footprints and bassinet card from the hospital. First day photo.  It’s still looking kind of respectable.

Page 5-6: Pictures with extended family.  Standards are starting to slip and everything is pasted onto the plain placeholder liners that ship with the scrapbook.

Page 7: This is where it all went wrong. Photo of Baby’s First Halloween and baby’s First Christmas on the same page. 

Pages 8 – 30: Blank. Clearly, paper decoration is not my gift.

The Freaks Come Out at Night

My children's school has a monthly fund raiser called Movie Night.  The gist is that you can drop your children off at school (if they are students.....keep this in mind it will come up later) at 6:30 and pick them up at 9:00 p.m.  For a minimal fee the kids bring sleeping bags, pillows, watch a movie, have a snack and then go home.  Recently I was in charge of Movie Night, since I am in charge of 5th Grade Graduation and it was sponsored by the 5th Grade Class.  I have never worked at Movie Night....and I never will do it again.

The evening started out slow, except for the constant rain we were off to a good start.  As 6:30 grew closer parents started lining up to do a drop & dash.  Everyone seemed anxious to get their whole 2 1/2 hours of babysitting out of us.  As more students arrived it got increasing louder, and louder and louder still in he school gymnasium.  I had to practically scream to be heard over the noise.  The room started to look like a scene from Lord of the Flies or Unaccompanied Minors.  The children were running around waving their arms, throwing pillows, stuffed animals basically anything they could get their grubby little hands on.  Some were doing mock karate moves and pretending to punch and kick each other.  A few girls (and gulp....my son) were even trying to learn the latest dance craze.  I could feel a headache coming on....and that was only the beginning.

STAR Test Prep Camp

Yes, you read it right. STAR Test Prep Camps exist and may be offered at a recreation center near you.  Can you believe it?  

Last week I was so annoyed to see a notice in my child’s Friday Folder advertising a STAR Test Prep Recess Camp, being offered by a local rec center during our school’s February winter break.   I couldn’t believe that:

a.  it would even exist 

b.  our school was promoting it

According to the flyer, kids as young as 6 can prepare for the FOURTH grade writing prompt, which last I heard was being cut due to budget issues (they don’t have the $$ to pay teachers to read/grade them).  Why the heck does a 1^st grader need to take a writing strategies class for a test that may or may not happen until fourth grade?  Hello this is NOT the SAT!

Giftedness: The Third Rail of Public Education in California

I attended elementary school in the 1970s. I remember having a school nurse. I remember riding a bus on field trips. I even remember gifted programs. Due to education budget cuts in California, these are vestiges of the past. While my friend Darin's first grade son in New Jersey is identified as gifted and has an appropriate curriculum, the gifted curriculum in California doesn't begin until middle school.

For the past two years, our son has returned from school each day completely frustrated by a system that won't let him work at his level in math. Before I had kids I would have wondered why first and second graders even need a gifted education, but now I get it. My son has a huge, infectious enthusiasm for math. He's really good at it and he's proud of it.

In my son's first and second grade years, we worked with his teacher to adjust the curriculum to his ability, but our son has remained less than challenged. During the process, I learned a euphemism for teaching to all students - differentiation.This was supposed to be the answer to our problem.

Controversy during the Superbowl

I admit I will not be boycotting the Superbowl. Well, to be perfectly honest, I doubt I will actually be watching it. I will make sticky peanut and butter wings and my husband and kids will be glued to the tube all afternoon cheering on their favorite team. With 100% certainty, I will NOT be purchasing anything Tim Tebow's mom will be selling during her much talked about commercial. Wait a minute, what is she selling?

E-Trade wants us to buy babiesstock. Doritos and Budweiser hopes that's what we're munching on during the game and GoDaddy, well, I won't even go there (ha!). So if this commercial is simply to let one woman tell her heart-wrenching story, or to celebrate families, why did Focus on the Family pay millions of dollars to air it?

My Mom is Sick. Now What?

For a few years in my young childhood, my mom was in a wheelchair, her beautiful (no really, like Latina Beauty Queen type-beautiful) face hidden behind the effects of steroids. As a young kid, I truly didn't really care -- my life was great, and as far as I was concerned that blue handicapped sticker was a sure way to get pole position parking wherever we went. Don't feel like walking? Hop on mommy's lap and we'll ride. Long lines at Disneyland? No problem, wheelchair folks get to skip the line. My sick mom didn't bother me much. She was mom, wheelchair, puffy face and all. She was my mom still when she fought her way out of a wheelchair and off of medication and into a kickass trail-hiker and world traveler. I don't think I ever knew the difference.

Until now.

My mom is sick again. It's been 30 years and only a small handful of flare-ups since I've seen her like this. Six weeks ago she was traveling, working out and burning up the competitive bridge circuit. Today, she can barely walk, can't lift a teapot or toss a salad. In a scramble, we got her on meds, but they have yet to work. Diseases like hers are mean, but not painful. She has no pain but equally, she has no feeling in her limbs. The disease my mom has is so long -- Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy-- and it's equally hard to explain. How can I explain that my mom's body turns to limp spaghetti, affecting her limbs and central nervous system at-will. It's really, truly unexplainable.  She smiles when I call her "spaghetti legs."

Your Local Disco Skate: Check It Out!

This past year when I've been at birthday parties for my kids and their friends, I've had a niggling thought. Why do kids get all the fun parties? When was the last time I went to an adult party anyway? Sadly, the last grown-ups only party I could remember attending was New Year's Eve, 2008. Pathetic! Since 2010 is my year of doing, not musing, I decided to act.

And that's how a group of friends I've had for twenty years ended up sporting Farrah Fawcettt and Afro wigs, satin jackets, gold shirts and shorts, leg warmers and striped knee socks on a recent Saturday night and having a Roller Disco Party that none of us will soon forget. (Particularly not those of us now sporting knee braces and having a possible broken wrist!) But it was all worth it. As a friend said to me at the end of our Roller Disco Session, "I had so much fun tonight. I even forgot I was a Mom!"  Clearly, we need to get out more. 

OVO by Cirque du Soleil Giveaway - Enter to win a pair of Valentine's Day tickets to see OVO by Cirque du Soleil in San Jose!

This post is sponsored by Cirque de Soleil

Cirque du Soleil is returning to San Jose!

Win two tickets to see OVO by Cirque du Soleil on Valentine's Day, Sunday, February 14, 2010 in San Jose, California,  from Silicon Valley Moms Blog! Details on entering are below the special Valentine's Day offer from Cirque du Soleil.

OVO is a headlong rush into a colourful ecosystem teeming with life, where insects work, eat, crawl, flutter, play, fight and look for love in a non-stop riot of energy and movement.

For more information, visit: www.cirquedusoleil.com

Special Valentine’s Day offer from Cirque du Soleil!

OVO by Cirque du Soleil will be hosted under the Big Top at Taylor Street Bridge in San Jose starting February 4, 2010.

Love is all around this Valentine’s Day with Cirque du Soleil.

Special offers from Cirque du Soleil to show your love.
 
Friendship.  Romance.  Passion. Sensuality...  Celebrate the many colors of your love this Valentine’s Day. And share tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show – for less!  Cirque du Soleil's seasonal offers mean you enjoy up to two-for-one savings.  Plus — With so many gifts to say ‘I love you,’ visit the online boutique for added inspiration.
 
Treat your loved one to something special this Valentine's Day. Buy one ticket for a select performance and get the second one free!  Act fast, as the offer expires February 14!
 
Discover Cirque du Soleil's offers at:
 
 www.cirquedusoleil.com/valentines-Silicon

CONTEST DETAILS:

PRIZE: Two tickets to see OVO by Cirque du Soleil on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2010 in San Jose, California.

HOW TO ENTER: We will be using the website Random.org's List Randomizer to choose the winner. To ENTER PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW to share what you love about Valentine's Day. One comment will equal one entry - multiple entries (comments) are accepted - but only ONE COMMENT per hour.

 EXTRA ENTRIES can be earned by using the Google Form and doing any of the following:

1) joining the SV Moms Group - "Taking a Byte Out of Life" email newsletter list, and

2) following @svmomsgroup on Twitter and tweeting this giveaway out (TWEET: Enter to win tickets to OVO by Cirque du Soleil in San Jose from @svmomsgroup at http://www.svmoms.com)

CLICK HERE for the Google form.

SV Moms Group will not share your email address. We will need to share the winner's email with Cirque du Soleil to get the tickets delivered to the winner. Tickets may only be used for the date provided at the show in San Jose, California.

TIMING: This giveaway contest will run from Thursday, February 4, 2010 to midnight PST on Monday, February 8, 2010 and announced on Tuesday, February 9, 2010.

GOOD LUCK! 

This post is sponsored by Cirque du Soleil.

 

If You Give a Preschooler a Madeleine

 When I bring my four year old son into Starbucks with me, chances are he will suddenly be starved and want a packet of madeleine cookies.  If I buy him the madeleines, chances are he will want some orange juice or water to go with it.  When he's reaching for the juice the chocolate milk will catch his eye.  And if the chocolate milk catches his eye, chances are an argument will ensue over which drinks he can choose from.  After the argument ensues, chances are the customers in line behind me will start to get annoyed.  Once I notice the stares and rolled eyes, chances are I will buy him the madeleines, orange juice, chocolate milk and some mints in order to move along.  Once our hands are full of snacks and beverages, chances are we will have to sit down to organize our bounty.  Once we've spent ten minutes putting straws in drinks my son will need to use the restroom.  I will most likely drop my purse while helping him wash his hands and the madeleines will fall on the floor.  Seeing the madeleines will remind him that he is starving and can we please get to the car so he can open them. 

Three days a week I drop my second graders off at school at 8:30am and my son's school does not allow drop off until 9:00am.  That leaves me about twenty minutes.  It doesn't make sense to go back home only for fifteen minutes.  I try to squeeze in a quick errand like visiting the ATM or grabbing a cup of coffee.  But you can see how my quick errand can spiral into a situation where he is late for school.

Midlife Crisis: Don't Let Your Cents Get in the Way

As far as crises go, I have to say I'm happy my husband is not a philandering, Tiger-esque sort of man, or even a sports-jalopy type.  I'm happy to say that as he approaches 50 (which is the new mid-life age, not 40), his crisis is dreaming of becoming a guitar-playing, rock'n roll'n, Eric Clapton-esque sort of man.

He learned how to play guitar when he was in his early twenties after he was laid-up for six months due to a spinal fusion operation (to take care of his scoliosis).  He loved playing the guitar and rocking-and-a-rolling.  But after his recovery was over, back to college he did go, though his guitar playing always stayed with him in the back of his mind.  Someday, he thought, he would have time to get back to it.  Someday turned out to be nearly 30 years, 8 jobs, 22 years with me, and three children later.  A friend of his reignited the interest when he started taking lessons and showed his cool guitar gear to my husband.  Out from our attic came his 30 year old guitar.  I thought "this too shall pass" but he kept playing and strumming for months.

Soon he announced to me that he wanted to purchase a very expensive new guitar, his old one was just not "doing it" and out of date.  The cost? Close to two thousand dollars!  It made me shudder - what, an expensive musical instrument!  We had a baby grand piano collecting dust that no one was playing, why couldn't he take up piano? 

And then, a dear friend of ours brought us unexpected news.  Her fiance and best friend of seven years, who had just recently turned 50, died suddenly of a heart attack.  They were to be married within a few months.  She had just spoken to him while driving home after work on a Thursday, they were just chatting away about what to have for dinner that evening.  While on the phone, he told her he felt dizzy, faint.  The next thing she knew, he was unresponsive.  Extremely concerned, she called 911 and the paramedics were at their home within minutes.  It was too late, when she arrived, he was already gone.  In a flash, in the blink of an eye, her whole life changed. 

The day before

I don’t remember the day itself;  but I have a record of what I did.

It’s in this little journal  I kept through my first pregnancy.  It was a food diary someone gave me—-but I didn't want to humiliate myself and record what I consumed every day— instead I kept track of everything else.

Across the top of the page I wrote a status report:  February 1, 42 weeks, 10^th month.

More than 2 weeks overdue, by now I was jumping rope trying to get labor started.

Here’s some of what I wrote:

I saw the doctor.    He’s checking me in tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m. to induce labor.

I’m 90% effaced and 4 cm. dilated.  Technically I’m already through most of early labor and I shouldn’t have much trouble tomorrow. ( Ha!  Famous last words…)

I’ve practically given up on nutrition and have been eating way too many Mrs. Fields’ cookies— though in honor of the baby’s health, I switched from chocolate chip to oatmeal raisin.

I’m relieved, excited and just a little nervous.  It still feels so unreal…

What Dutch Kids Teach Us About Our Own

Another UNICEF study this week found that children of the Netherlands are the happiest in the world. Insert the joke, "Gouda for them!" then take pause: what makes them so happy? And why, amongst 21 countries surveyed, did the children of the US fall to the very bottom of the happiness scale?

Happiness to me has always been a state of mind and a stint or two of antidepressants for a kicker. My children are happy, carefree and in love with the world. What do those Dutch toe-heads have on us? According to the study, they've got a lot. 

Six criteria determined the happiness factor: money, health, education, relationships (parents, teachers, friends, family), safety and their own feelings about being lucky or fortunate. The study showed that Dutch parents go more out of their way to please their children and that the teachers put less stress on their demand for educational prowess.

It's mind-blowing to me that despite our endless attempts to please our kids, keep them from being stressed and scared, that we as Americans fall to the very bottom of the happiness scale. Truly, it's abhorrent.  Isn't that all that matters? Don't we all wish on a star holding our child's hand, "Star light, star bright first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight... and wish for our children's happiness, health and longevity? I know you do. I do too.

His wants and desires above his family's

It's what my mother started to say, back in college when I asked her for whom I should vote, that I was remembering as I read this tell-all Washington Post article.  Translated her saying goes something like: If he holds his wants and desires above his family's, where do you think he places his promises to us voters?

She was, of course, talking about some other politician in another time, but for me, the simple truth of her words still amazes me.  After reading the article, I sat back and thought, 'What would have happened had he been successful at attaining ANY sort of executive position?'  

I thought back to when I first set my eyes on Elizabeth Edwards.  She was campaigning for his husband in the bay area and came to speak with us, Silicon Valley Moms Bloggers, midst her chemo.  My first thought was, she looks so tired!  I looked at his manager/best friend who came with her.  All I saw was worry.  Then came the thought, she must really love her husband if she's willing to do this when she's so sick ... lucky bastard!  

The Doting Mom & Tough Love Dad--Dealing with a Broken Leg

My 10 year old daughter broke her leg over the holiday break.  It happened on New Year's Eve while skiing at Tahoe Donner.

She was on an easy green run and tried to slow down with her skis in parallel (instead of doing the trusted pizza).  Unfortunately, her skis crossed, she fell forward and her binding didn't release causing her to break her tibia.

Needless to say, after a toboggan ride down the hill and several hours at the wonderful Tahoe Forest Hospital, my daughter ended up with a full leg cast.  Yes, this was a crappy way to end 2009! 

This is the first big injury we've had to deal with in our family and I've noticed that my husband and I are handling our daughter's daily challenges differently.

I find that I am more doting and quick to jump up for any of her requests.  When she asks for help putting on a sock, I'm there stretching it across her toes.  When she wants assistance putting her books into her backpack, I'm happy to load it up.